


un peu plus longtemps

by thats_vexing



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Skinny!Steve, bucky goes to war, very slight canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_vexing/pseuds/thats_vexing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s well aware that it’s Bucky’s last night. He’s been thinking about it all day. About how tomorrow he will be alone, and Bucky will be halfway across the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	un peu plus longtemps

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first official foray into Marvel! It's a bit scary. I've been reading MCU fics for years but never written anything, so here goes. ;)
> 
> A huge hand to my dear friend for picking over this for me, she made it so much better. I take credit for any remaining mistakes.
> 
> j'aurais aimé tenir ta main un peu plus longtemps - I'd have like to hold your hand a little longer (from Ta main by Gregoire)

When Bucky comes home that night, Steve is already in bed, wide awake. He sits up slowly.

"How'd it go?" Bucky mumbles, stumbling in the dark to lean against the bedroom door. Steve looks at the floor and tries not to think of the accepted application in his coat pocket. If he says anything, Bucky will see straight through it, and he doesn’t want to lie to him, not tonight. He doesn’t know why he won’t say that he got in – at last, he got in – but it doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would. Bucky sighs and Steve looks at him sharply.

"I’m not saying anything," he says defensively, kicking off his shoes and shucking his jacket. He is just as careless with his glittering uniform as his old, worn clothes. "It's my last night; I don't want to spend it fighting."

Steve nods minutely, curling back into the blankets on the bed. He’s well aware that it's Bucky's last night. He's been thinking about it all day. About how tomorrow he will be alone, and Bucky will be halfway across the world. He listens to the sound of splashing water in the sink as Bucky washes his face, and stares at the wall. Bucky's his only family, his best friend, and soon he'll be gone. But Steve knows it won't be long until he'll follow. They can't really be separated, not by teachers or bullies or the matron at the orphanage. Not even by a world at war.

Steve hears the couch squeak – it only does it when Bucky gets on it, because Bucky throws himself down on it too hard and it annoys Steve, and Steve won't hear that noise again, probably.

"Buck," he says quietly over the rustle of blankets. He rolls over to look, but it's dark, and he can't see the couch through the bedroom doorway. "C'mere." He listens to heavy footsteps and Bucky is silhouetted in the doorway, but it's too dark to see his expression. Steve scoots back to the wall, pulls the blankets aside. After what seems like an age, Bucky pads over and perches on the bed, his back to Steve. His shoulders are rolled forward more than usual, and it hadn't occurred to Steve before the possibility that he might not be the only one who doesn't want Bucky to leave in the morning. They sit in silence for a few minutes.

"My last chance to sleep in my own bed, and I have to share it with you and your ugly mug." Bucky grumbles finally, turning slowly, and Steve can see him twisting the edges of the blanket in his hands.

"Hey," Steve soothes, trying to lighten his tone with a chuckle, "it's dark anyway, doesn't matter what I look like."

Bucky swings his legs into the bed and settles down, and they spend a few moments trying to arrange themselves in the cramped space. "You're right, I could pretend you're a beautiful dame instead."

"You could’ve..."

"Nah," Bucky cuts across quickly, too quickly, but Steve knows he isn't being defensive. "I couldn't leave you alone tonight. You and me, we're in for the long run. I ain't gonna cop out at the last minute for some girl I hardly know." 

"Admit it, you're gonna miss me," Steve mumbles. He turns his head and their faces are close, incredibly so, so that when Bucky chuckles he can feel his breath ghost over his cheek.

"A little bit, I suppose," Bucky says with a grin. Steve can just make out his expression, his wry smile doesn't quite meet his eyes, and he has to look away.

In the resulting silence Bucky's smile melts away and his mouth curls into something bitter. He hasn't taken his eyes off of Steve’s face. He shifts a bit, settling more comfortably on his side 

"There's a reason we stopped sharing this." Bucky fidgets to fill the spaces around Steve. The bed is far too narrow and the blankets barely cover them, but neither of them show any intention of moving.

"If you'd stopped growing like I did, we wouldn't have this problem." Steve teases, smiling a little into the pillow. Bucky smirks back and the corners of his mouth pull back into a much kinder smile. Steve can't help but watch, to memorize that small movement.

"Steve?"

He must have been staring for too long and it takes an embarrassingly long time for him to snap his eyes back up to Bucky's, unreadable in the darkness. He is about to apologize, to dismiss it or just say anything; instead his mouth just falls open slightly. Next thing he knows, Bucky has closed the minute gap between them and presses a kiss to Steve's lips. He is far gentler than Steve would have imagined, a little bit careful, as if he is scared that Steve might spook. His lips are just as soft as they look.

Bucky pulls back, too soon, and a hand wraps around Steve's shoulder, neither pushing nor pulling. But Steve chases his lips and captures them himself. He has wondered about this for too long. Bucky doesn't kiss him like he does with the girls. He's cautious and his usual display of cockiness has vanished, as if he knows Steve will see right through it. His careful, almost hesitant kisses reaffirm what they are both thinking. There is too much at stake. This cannot go wrong, if they were to lose each other over a slip up like this, they would both be alone. If things were left sour before Bucky left, they would both regret it.

Bucky's hesitance only serves to egg Steve on more. He _wants_ this. He’s wanted it for years; quietly, secretly, and never daring to act on it. He’d have sooner picked a thousand fights than risk everything he has with Bucky. As he nips gently at Bucky's bottom lip and listens to his breath hitch, he realizes just how much he had thought about this moment, subconsciously. Like when Bucky smiled too wide or bit his lip or twisted his mouth when he was thinking. His hands slide up Bucky's broad shoulders, up his neck, to rest on his jaw. He holds him there because Steve doesn't want him to go. Not yet.

"Steve," Bucky whispers against his lips, with such finality that they both ignore that and return to kissing, exploring. Bucky loops an arm around Steve and pulls him as close as he can, which isn't hard on the tiny bed. His grip is firm, and Steve’s fingers tighten, because everything has always been competitive between them. It spurs Bucky on, rolling over Steve and finally licking into Steve’s parted lips with a desperation he isn’t even trying to conceal.

The pipes in their apartment rattle and groan and they both recoil. The sound is so familiar, but they both seem to be on edge, panting quietly in the darkness. Steve’s heart is thundering in his chest, and Bucky can probably feel it. He doesn’t care. He’s too lost in his own head, in the smell, the feel, the taste of Bucky.

Bucky says nothing, rests his forehead on Steve’s and they lie together for a few moments longer, just breathing. Bucky pushes back Steve’s hair and presses a kiss on his forehead. Steve can feel Bucky’s smile.

The sleep that wouldn’t come to him catches up with him. His traitorous eyes start to slip shut, his body betraying him. He wants to stay awake all night, to memorize each freckle, the birthmarks that he has heard of but never seen, and the soft, permanent shadows under Bucky's eyes. But Bucky rolls to the side and tucks Steve's head under his chin, and Steve couldn't move from Bucky's loose embrace even if he wanted to. He falls asleep to the lull of Bucky's heartbeat.

\--

Inevitably, the morning dawns, fading from pink to gold to brilliant blue outside the window. They’re out of time and the sun is rising too soon.

Bucky dresses in his uniform again, meticulously doing each button and strap as if prolonging the process will keep the world at bay for a little longer. Steve can only watch.

As the hat settles over Bucky's carefully combed hair, Steve feels bold enough to emerge from the bedroom, where he was leaning against the doorway. They had always known a day like this would come; now it’s here, he’s strangely speechless.

"C'mere." Bucky says, and pulls Steve into a hug, a little too tight and too painful but Steve holds on just as tightly and can't be sure if he imagines the brush of lips against his temple. "I'll see ya." Bucky pulls away, squeezing Steve's shoulder as he has done so many times before.

"Yeah." Throat dry, Steve can't manage much more than that. Any other words he had have clogged in his throat. He sees Bucky to the door, listens to his footsteps down the stairs and the distant creak of the door. Then he is gone.

 


End file.
